Bridge Member: “My mom has terminal cancer”

Posted by on Sep 19, 2011 | 2 comments

I recently wrote a message to a Bridge member whose mom is suffering with terminal cancer.  As many of you know, in seasons like this questions abound and all of a sudden it becomes a challenge to find an anchor for your soul.  With his permission, here’s my counsel to this man…

__________ – apologies for just getting back to you on this, brother. I was out of town last week at a pastor’s conference in Chicago and out of communication for most of the time.  To finish our conversation…
John 11 is the chapter I visit most often during seasons of pain.  As you’ll remember, one of Jesus’ closest friends (Lazarus) has just died.  Jesus was told that Lazarus was dying a few days earlier, but the text says that BECAUSE Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus he stayed where he was instead of going to heal Lazarus.  When Jesus sees the tomb and the people weeping, he is overcome with emotion (sadness and anger) and begins to weep himself.  Then Jesus – with a word – calls Lazarus out of the tomb and raises him from the dead.
A few deep, rock-solid things this passage resources us with in the midst of pain…
  • God is in control and has good purposes for us in the midst of our pain.  Again, verse 6 says that Jesus intentionally stayed where he was instead of going to heal Lazarus because he loved Lazarus and his sisters.  Some people try to “absolve” God by saying things like “God had nothing to do with this” or “this wasn’t in his hands”.  First, this passage couldn’t be more clear that Jesus was in control and intentionally allowed the pain to take place because he loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus.  This has been a rock for me in seasons of pain, _______. Knowing that God is both sovereign and good gives us unquenchable resources for comfort in the midst of pain.  Second, it is ANYTHING BUT comforting to be forced to think that some things are “out of God’s hands” and not controlled by our good Father. There are few (any?) things I can think of that would cause me more fear than to think God isn’t in control when I am in pain.
  • When we weep, Jesus weeps with us.  God doesn’t take a stoic, “I’m sovereign so just deal with my will” attitude toward our pain.  Jesus sees the tomb (with a  dead body in it), sees the people weeping, and himself weeps – angry because he knows that the world was never supposed to be like this.  The presence of pain in the world is a result of the of The Fall and isn’t what God originally intended for us.  It’s incredibly comforting to know that when I shed a tear, God sheds a tear with me.  It may be helpful to meditate on Hebrews 4:15 right now.
  • God will mend whatever brokenness we experience.  The most helpful way to view all of Jesus’ miracles is to view them as “Flash Forwards” to his future kingdom.  Jesus – with a single word – calls Lazarus out of the grave… and he will do the same thing upon his return and much, much more.  Our pain – your mother’s death if God does not heal her – is not the end of the story with which you have to reconcile yourself.  Jesus’ triumphant return as a conquering warrior king, subjugating all of the horrific effects of sin in the world is The End.  John 11 is a rock-solid reminder that when Jesus returns everything sad will come untrue.  Our hearts can rest in that.
________, I’m yours during this season of your life and want to be your pastor. If you need me, call me. Let me know if you need to get together or want to talk and we’ll make it happen.  Praying for you, brother.
josh

2 Comments

  1. Brad Reynolds | September 19, 2011 at 11:47 am

    Excellent words: A couple of questions though; When you reference the text “BECAUSE Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus he stayed where he was instead of going to heal Lazarus”… Why do you suppose his love is manifested more through waiting? Was it because Jesus knew that Lazarus would benefit more on the other side of death in the presence of God than continuing to suffer here on earth? I once heard a pastor teach another point from this passage and what he said stuck with me, he said (and I’m paraphrasing) – Sometimes our level of faith can inhibit us from expecting great things from God. We ask for and expect smaller things like healing, when God wants to do greater things like resurrect. I’m not sure if that somehow plays into the answer to the question of why Jesus’ love is manifested more by waiting to intervene in that scenario or not, but I found it encouraging. I will also be praying for our brother going through this difficult time.

    • Josh Howerton | September 19, 2011 at 2:49 pm

      Brad – Yeah, I’ve heard speculation on Jesus’ motive too. I think it most easily lends itself to him allowing Lazarus’ death to happen so that he could display his greatness through the resuscitation.